Writing from the Heart

Everyday, I hope for you to see. That I wasn't going anywhere. Anywhere I wanted to go. With you, is where I wanted to stay. Everyday, I wish for you to understand. That it wasn't all about you. It was about me, too. Yet, you chose the easier route and left. Everyday, I pray that you had good reasons. That you thought it through. With clarity and love. But that wasn't how you decided. Everyday, I hope to see you once again. To get a better understanding. Of why I'm lost and broken. You don't seem to care, do you? Everyday, I wish you had thought about me. How I was going to take it. My thoughts of your silence. But you only thought of yourself. Everyday, I pray that you'll realize that this Was for real, that I fell for who you are. That I wanted this to be played out right. I meant when I said I didn't want to rush this. You took the matter into your own hands. You washed them clean and brushed me aside. I can't even think...

The knot regrows by the hour. My heart aches by the second. Everyday I miss you even more. I can't shake this feeling... Of being alone. My hands no longer work. My eyes no longer see. Everyday I miss you even more. I want this pain To flutter with the wind. Nothing makes sense. When I'm not with you. Everyday I miss you even more. I feel like I lost it all When you decided to leave. You made me smile, endlessly. For a moment, all the pain drained away. Everyday I miss you even more. I can't shake this feeling Of always being alone. So before it all ends, I want you to know that I've been trying. To miss you a little less. Someday, your memory Will only be a lonely memory in the wind.

I always want what I can't have. Everyday it gets harder, Trying to forget you. You are what I want. I try to erase your touch  From my skin. But, it lingers on and on. You are what I dream about. I wonder about where it went wrong. How someone great Could walk away from my life. You are what I need to feel me. I think about your smile, Every time before I close my eyes. It's been six months. You are what I breathed for. Maybe it was all me. It's been six months since  I've seen your beautiful face. I pressured you and I'm sorry. I never thought it would end like this. Strangers for all eternity. I believed that somehow my luck has changed. That you wouldn't leave me... Like every other man in my life.  It felt like you were different. You made me feel like I was anchored down. As if I wouldn't fly away. Because you were with me. Now I feel like a broken record. Replaying all the memor...

When vacancy becomes the barrier. All the walls will come down. That's when you'll hear me call. Not before, not after. When air becomes too much. My heart will dry up. That's when I'm no more. Not before, not after. When hope becomes broken. All the faith will go with it. That's when you won't see me cry. Not before, not after. When love becomes overused. My lungs will flare up. That's when I won't fight for you. Not before, and not after. When pain becomes a friend. All the worries will be numb. That's when I'll never be seen again. Not before and not after. When the day will come, All will bow down to my vulnerability. That's when nothing will matter. You won't matter anymore. I've given up. You've taken all of me.

Everyday, gets a little easier. I think of you less, And try to let you go even more. It's okay, I'm okay. No matter what the future holds. You made me feel more, Safe, loved, and seen. It's okay, I'm okay. I didn't have to hide myself, From you because you saw me. You listened to me. It's okay, I'm okay. There was never a time Where I wanted to leave. You made me happy. It's okay, I'm okay. You drained away all the negatives. You numbed all my senses. Yet, heightened everything else. It's okay, I'm okay. Everyday that goes by, I hope for your return. I'll open my arms to you. It's okay to be afraid. I don't have regrets. I don't have resentment. All I needed was your honesty. Your clarity and your confession. So thank you, for a wonderful few months. My only wish is for you to find happiness. And everyday you shouldn't have to worry. It's okay, I'm okay. 

There aren't enough words, To replace the pain inside. I'm sorry for pressuring you, I never wanted to be that person. I wanted to be there for you, To be your person. There aren't enough first hellos, To make you see that I'm here for good.  Every kiss I wanted to make it last, For the sake of my heart. There aren't enough smiles, To make all of this okay. The intervals between clicked lips, Didn't last long as I craved for your touch. There aren't enough time, To hold onto you for good. Every moment with you was like the first, Exhilarating, beautiful and safe. There aren't enough embraces, To make me breathe on my own. I wanted to be the one you turned to, When you needed someone to be there. There aren't enough moments, To relive with you because you're not here. My heart will remember your touch, And my mind will know your person. There is enough love in me, For the both of us. I'll hol...

My anger and frustration of the so-called Truth, Is burning me to ashes. You look at me and you no longer exist. Just a coward who knows how to play the act. You never cared about me like you said you did. When all I ever did was speak to you with  Sincerity, Hope, Love and told you what I felt. Yet, I wasn't enough to make you do the same. You choose to ignore me because you think  You're a man but you aren't. Just a coward who doesn't deserve anything. When all you did was deserve everything. Now I look at your posts and see a man  I wish I never got to know. With tears in my eyes and fire in my heart. Deep down I knew you were just another boy With rude intentions, not respecting the woman you so call PREACH. I'm a magnet to jerks who think they are better  Than everyone. Think they are better than me. I deserve the explanation of why you chose to leave. You PREACH for no HOES but you are ONE yourself. I'm done with MEN , boys like y...