Writing from the Heart

I've fallen for you many times. Some moments were subtle Than most of the longing. This time was different. I fell in love with you. Tomorrow, marks three weeks. It would've marked eight months Of being together. Yet, you chose to be alone. Letting me feel more alone. Wishing you'd call me. Wishing you'd come back. It doesn't work like that, does it? I've always been the one  Who loses the person I care for. Because of my naive mistake of trusting. Trusting people who don't Have the intention of loving me. I trusted you with my whole being. I placed you in MY equation, my life. It's been almost three weeks And I feel so alone. I keep staring at the pictures--the memories. Hoping you'd come down my street. Hoping you'd come back home. But you're not going to, are you? This is it? The "love" you claimed  To have, disappeared. You didn't love me enough. Maybe you didn't love me at all. The t...

It's the moments when I'm alone. When I'm reminded of what I've lost. Of what I wanted to hold onto. Of what I thought was meant to be mine. Nothing can help push away the memories. So I don't have to think about them. So I don't have to cry about you. So I don't have to realize that you aren't mine. It's the moments when I'm sitting by myself. Staring at the wall, trying to forget The images flashing inside my mind. The memories of you playing the piano. Memories of you hugging me tight. Memories of you making me food. Memories of you saying "I love you." Memories of you riding your skateboard. Memories of you holding my hand. Memories of you kissing my forehead. Memories of you wrapping your body around me. Memories of you laughing at me. My mind is being consumed by you. My heart is being invaded by you. My hands are searching for yours. My lips are hoping to kiss your skin agai...

Ignoring me when I need you. Acting like you don't care. Making me feel stupid for loving you.  Well you've got your wish. I won't bug you. I won't love you. I won't care for you. You honestly don't deserve it. I guess you're doing me a favor. Pushing me out like this. Feeling like I'm drowning. Because I gave you every part of me. Now my heart is aching. And now you're smiling. You're having an amazing time. Pushing me aside like the others. I cried to you that I disliked being Ignored and you promised you wouldn't  Do the same. Now, you're more like a stranger. Than my lover. You "loved" me for a little a bit. Maybe not even at all. Feeling like I'm unworthy. You broke my heart for  The thousand of times. You won't get anymore chances. I'm putting my foot down. You pushing me away Only proves to me that you're like the others. Serenading me with your musical talents. Lying ...

I'm staring at your messages, again. Hoping that soon you'd text me. So I know you're okay. That you're happy. My heart misses beating to your breathing. My hands misses touching your prickled face. My eyes misses looking at you for no reason. My lips misses kissing you all the time. So I'm staring at my phone. Waiting for a phone call. Just so I can hear your voice vibrate in my ears. Like they always did. Remembering closing my eyes, Because I was so happy. Remembering smiling every time, I saw your name appear on my screen. Now that my phone is silent. I realized how much I miss you. How I didn't appreciate you when I was yours. How I didn't say the things I wanted to say. My heart misses beating at the same moment yours did. My hands misses lacing with yours at the same time. My eyes misses seeing you play the piano. My lips misses kissing you for no reason. So I'm staring at my phone. Waiting to wake up from this night...

I stared into your eyes.  You painted our life together in my head.  I started to believe it.  I started to like the idea of holding you.  I kissed your lips.  You stained my skin with your touch.  I started to feel it.  I started to like the idea of loving you.  I held your hand.  You branded my heart with your love.  I started to know it.  I started to like the idea of keeping you safe.  I wrapped my body around you.  You locked my whole being in your pocket.   I started to keep it.  I started to like the idea of tying myself to you.  I don’t want anyone else.  My heart is yours.  Even when you don’t see it.  Even when you don’t want it.  You sang me your promises.  You played your heart through the piano.  You held me like I’ve never been held.  You saw me when I felt invisible.  I miss you like I’ve never been loved.  I miss you ...

It's been a week, And I feel like you don't care. You look at my stories, And I imagine you brushing it off. As if the time we spent together, Meant nothing to you. When it meant everything to me. I thought you loved me. I thought you cared. I thought you understood That I didn't want anyone else. I thought you were my forever. Well, that's what you promised. When you gave me a ring. You built me up, Just to tear me down. I believed every word Like I've never heard the lie. I didn't think you were a good actor. Congrats, you won an Oscar. You brushed me aside  Like I was trash. You knew my past, I cried to you about the pain. You promised me that you Wouldn't do the same. But, this time it's worse. I trusted you with my heart. I trusted you with my hands. I trusted you with my mind. I trusted you with my body. I trusted you with my eyes. That you weren't playing me. That you meant every word. I saw it in your...

It's time for me to talk. To say the words, I've always wanted to say. Hoping you'd hear every word. I need you to know that I love you for everything you are. That I support you in everything you do. That I'm always here for you. You made the decision To walk away from something That would've been great. That would've made us happy. But I can't disagree with you. I want what's best for you. I want you to get better. Even though, I'm hurting inside. I'm going to miss your hands. I'm going to miss your laugh. I'm going to miss your eyes. I'm going to miss your voice. I'm going to miss your family. I'm going to miss your dogs. I'm going to miss you looking Into my eyes as if I was the greatest thing in the world. I'm going to miss your smile. I'm going to miss the music you always played. I'm going to miss you driving fast. I'm going to miss your road rage. I'm going to ...