The Last Time

I've fallen for you many times.
Some moments were subtle
Than most of the longing.
This time was different.

I fell in love with you.
Tomorrow, marks three weeks.
It would've marked eight months
Of being together.

Yet, you chose to be alone.
Letting me feel more alone.
Wishing you'd call me.
Wishing you'd come back.

It doesn't work like that, does it?
I've always been the one 
Who loses the person I care for.
Because of my naive mistake of trusting.

Trusting people who don't
Have the intention of loving me.
I trusted you with my whole being.
I placed you in MY equation, my life.

It's been almost three weeks
And I feel so alone.
I keep staring at the pictures--the memories.
Hoping you'd come down my street.

Hoping you'd come back home.
But you're not going to, are you?
This is it? The "love" you claimed 
To have, disappeared.

You didn't love me enough.
Maybe you didn't love me at all.
The thought of it, kills me.
I feel like shattered glass on the floor.

That once broken, I can't be fixed.
That's what you've done to me.
I believed every lie you sang.
I allowed you to break my heart, again.

Was I that desperate to have someone?
To have been blinded by your comfort,
Your eyes, your voice, and your touch?
Was I that dumb to think I could change you?

Yet, I accepted all your flaws.
I overlooked them because I loved you.
I loved you with every artery, vein and 
Chamber of my heart.

Thinking that I finally found the "one".
The same boy that I fell in love with
When I was six years old.
The same boy I've loved since I can remember.

Thank you for reminding me
That I was only your rebound.
That I wasn't anymore than just that.
You loved her more than me.

You gave her every part of you.
You gave me little of you.
I gave you every part of myself.
And I was given half of you.

Thank you for reminding that 
You've always loved her.
That in the time we spent together,
You weren't really mine.

Now, I have to go on thinking
That this is it.
That you won't come back to me.
That this is over.

That you'll find someone
Who can give you the happiness,
I couldn't seem to give you.
Someone who can pull you out of your demons.

I know now, that it was never me.
That the stories we were told
Were lies, that soulmates never existed.
For a moment, I thought they did.

Yet, when you decided to end us
I knew that the idea of "soulmates" was gone.
You and I made sense.
I felt like I was given the world.

Being without you, hasn't been easy.
You make it look so easy by being silent.
You know I don't like being ignored.
You're doing it anyways.

You're being selfish.
Now I have to move on.
And I have to be selfish.
I can't care for you.

When you don't want it.
I can't love you.
When you don't acknowledge it.
When you don't say it back.

You've broken my heart,
For the last time.
I hope you know that
I'll always remember you.

I have to let you go,
For the last time.
For the many reasons,
I love you.

I have to let you go.
Even when I'm dying inside.
Even when you let us fail.
I have to fall out of love.

I wish it was as easy as
Falling asleep.
But it isn't.
Might've been easy for you.

I'm struggling to erase you,
From my brain.
I'm having trouble forgetting 
Your touch.

So, I hope you have a 
Wonderful birthday tomorrow.
I hope you find peace.
I hope you find someone who loves you.

Just as much as me.
Or possibly even more.
I have to think of myself.
Now, I have to be selfish.

I can't keep thinking of the past.
I have to move forward.
I have to let you go.
Even when you've taken a piece of me.

Even when you walked away with it in your hand.
You didn't even look back.
You didn't even say you loved me
For the last time.

I have to learn how to get that part of me back.
Even if that means without you.