Missing You and Loving You at The Same Time

It's time for me to talk.
To say the words,
I've always wanted to say.
Hoping you'd hear every word.

I need you to know that
I love you for everything you are.
That I support you in everything you do.
That I'm always here for you.

You made the decision
To walk away from something
That would've been great.
That would've made us happy.

But I can't disagree with you.
I want what's best for you.
I want you to get better.
Even though, I'm hurting inside.

I'm going to miss your hands.
I'm going to miss your laugh.
I'm going to miss your eyes.
I'm going to miss your voice.

I'm going to miss your family.
I'm going to miss your dogs.
I'm going to miss you looking
Into my eyes as if I was the greatest thing in the world.

I'm going to miss your smile.
I'm going to miss the music you always played.
I'm going to miss you driving fast.
I'm going to miss your road rage.

I'm going to miss cuddling up to you.
I'm going to miss feeling your lips against mine.
I'm going to miss your breath against my skin.
I'm going to miss you talk about the future.

I'm going to miss your touch.
I'm going to miss you playing the piano.
I'm going to miss every word you've ever said.
I'm going to miss you, my other half.

I don't hate you for choosing yourself.
I don't hate you for snapping at me.
I don't hate you for saying things I know you didn't mean.
I don't hate you for choosing to be without me.

It's going to take time for me to process.
To try and live in a world without you, again.
I've done it once, I guess I can do it again.
But it just hurts.

Because I lost my best friend.
The one I talked to for 220 days straight.
The one I called when I just wanted to hear your voice.
The one I worried about.

The one I've always loved since 
I was a little girl with chubby cheeks.
You and I... we never had the right timing.
You liked me, then I liked you.

We were never on the same page.
Then we did get on the same page,
For seven months--never thinking 
I'd have to find someone else.

That's the thing, I don't want anyone else. 
Then we got on the wrong page, again.
You weren't ready and I should've done 
Things differently.

But it's too late to re-write the past. 
I just don't want to be without you.
I don't want to hold another set of hands.
I don't want to hear another voice.

I don't want to look into another set of eyes.
I don't want to be without my person.
The one I can truly be myself with.
The man I want to love for the rest of my life.

And I'm going to love you for the rest of my life.
I've always loved you.
I can't find it in my heart to hate you.
Because that's how much I love you.

Despite your hurtful words.
Despite your ignorance.
Despite your moods.
Despite your stubbornness.

I love you above all those things.
I just wish you knew how to embrace it.
I wish you hadn't left me.
I wish you hadn't given up on me.

I understand now, that you want 
To fix yourself and better yourself.
Yet, I never wanted you to be alone.
And you're not going to be.

I've cried all the tears I could.
So I can be there for you 
Like I promised, sweetheart.
There's not a doubt in my mind.

I know you'll get through this.
That you'll come home.
I love you for all that you are.
I care for you and everything that comes with it.

You were my first TRUE love.
And I need you to be my LAST.