Writing from the Heart

His green comets, Flushed with starlight. His hands intertwined  With my shaky hands. Nervousness bubbling Within my veins. He made it seem like Everything will be okay. As long as he was beside me. Just as long he wanted me to. Our voices laced with grace. As we fell asleep to each other's breaths. His green comets, Enveloped with love. His lips rested on my skin. I took a long breath.  Wanting everything to stay, To freeze time so I won't lose him. He complimented me. He gave me the attention I desired. What I always desired. Then his green comets Were no longer bright green. The star-love quality disappeared. And I was left with the brokenness of things. I was left starving to have him back. Forgotten, Lost, and Broken. I miss him, everyday. I see his eyes, everyday. I feel his touch, everyday. I hear his voice, everyday. Laced together in bittersweet memories. Memories I can no longer create. Memories I can no longer ...

I've held my breath. I've looked away. I've closed my eyes. I've said goodbye. Nothing is worse than Not knowing how you're doing. Without seeing your face, Without hearing your voice. I've tried to let go. I've tried not to think of you. I've tried to forget your touch. I've tried to hold on. Nothing is worse than Feeling you against my skin. As you caress my lips, While you felt nothing. You stared into my face, And I felt something. Something magical and right. But you, however, didn't. Nothing is worse than  Holding your hand. Knowing that any second, You're about to let go. I've hugged you tight. I've smelled your cologne Rub off onto my clothes. I've loved you. Nothing is worse than Sitting beside you. Knowing that I won't  See you again.  Do you know how I feel? Do you even care? Did you even feel anything? Did you even want me? I've held my breath, To the sound of your ...

Hold your breath, Grab my hand. Count to three, And reach for the stars. Believe you got it all. That you know it all. Right from the start, Say a prayer. Your voice calms me down. Always holding me tight. I know I'm so far  From reaching you. Hold out for another few years. I'll be ready to take the fall. Writing novels, poems, and lyrics. Will get me to you. Patience is something I can't touch. Wanting to fast forward, Five more years. To find my happiness. They make it look so simple. Finding and receiving their dreams, So easily, while I'm still stuck. Trying to hold on for a tad longer. A few years back, my dream Seemed so clear. Now, I'm here still trying But failing to keep going. My day will come, When it does I'll be happy. He won't matter to me. Because I have something to fall on. I have something I've always wanted. So, hold your breath. Count to three. And reach for the stars. Your dream will come...

Baby, you told me what I wanted to hear. You looked into my eyes,  With a sparkle of love. I believed every little thing. You held me the way I wanted. You pulled me closer, After every break of fresh air. I believed you wanted me. You took me to all these places. You laced my hand with yours, While gently rubbing my skin. I believed you loved me. Now, when I think about you. I can't help but get teary eyed. Wondering if this was a game from the start. You checked mate, me. Baby, you hugged me the way I wanted. You smelled my hair, With a peak of interest. I believed we were going to last. You kissed my lips the way I expected. You broke away from me, And looked into my face. I believed that my heart was going to be okay. You breathed me in the way I needed. You told me your past, And I accepted you with open arms. I believed you weren't going to leave. Now, when I think about you. I can't help but wonder if I meant anything. If I mean...

I cradled you in my arms. Gazing into your green comets, Wanting to hold you forever. I didn't want my happiness to end. I kissed your lips gently. Caressing your skin with my touch, Wanting to keep you safe. I didn't want your feelings to change. I ran my fingers through your hair. Memorizing the way you closed your eyes, Wanting to stay in this moment. I didn't want you to leave. I laced my hand with yours. Rubbing your skin with my thumb, Wanting to super glue our bodies together. I didn't want to lose you. Now when I go out, I remember your face in my brain. Wanting to forget the way you looked at me. Wanting to forget all the little things. The way you kissed my nose with the graze of yours. The way you smiled into my face. The way you repeated my line, "Ni modo." The way you wrapped around me like a blanket. The way you kissed me so gently, modestly. The way you walked on the side closest to the street. The way you looked ...

It's amazing how much can change. In just a few seconds, years. Didn't think I'd be here. 23 and with 6 heartbreaks. The first was a childhood love. I didn't know better. Just was aware of what others told me. I was naive and young. We were told that we were  Two meant to be souls, Interwoven by the hands of God. So many signs led to that conclusion. As the years went by, the cloud was lifted From my brown broken eyes. It all became clear that you hadn't grown up. You treated me like I was nothing. Yet, I was something to you. You saw it much too late. Sometimes I wonder  What we could've been.  Only leading to number two. My prom date, the man I met When I was the strongest in my faith. God was in my life, stronger than ever. I believed you were my chance  Of happiness, after so much confusion. It was all easy when it came to you. I could talk to you for hours. Through the phone, your voice Is what soothed me to my own p...

Enough is enough. I'm weary of disappointment. I can only be left so many times, Before believing I'm the problem. And so I am t he problem--  You left me just like the last. I wanted more time. I wanted so much more with you. I can say you were like the rest. To make me feel better. But, you weren't. You were different than the last. That's why it makes this so much harder. I didn't want to lose you. You made me feel seen. You made me different. At first I wasn't all in. Little by little, you made me invest in you. You made me believe in you. Made me even trust you. Then slowly, you began to disappear. I saw it, but I refused to believe it. I refused to see that you Were going to be like the others. Baby, my heart had been broken Five times before this. Most hurt more than others. You made it to number six. You became another listed bullet point. Yet, I didn't want you to be another Added number to my list of failures. ...