Love Stages

It's amazing how much can change.
In just a few seconds, years.
Didn't think I'd be here.
23 and with 6 heartbreaks.

The first was a childhood love.
I didn't know better.
Just was aware of what others told me.
I was naive and young.

We were told that we were 
Two meant to be souls,
Interwoven by the hands of God.
So many signs led to that conclusion.

As the years went by, the cloud was lifted
From my brown broken eyes.
It all became clear that you hadn't grown up.
You treated me like I was nothing.

Yet, I was something to you.
You saw it much too late.
Sometimes I wonder 
What we could've been. 

Only leading to number two.
My prom date, the man I met
When I was the strongest in my faith.
God was in my life, stronger than ever.

I believed you were my chance 
Of happiness, after so much confusion.
It was all easy when it came to you.
I could talk to you for hours.

Through the phone, your voice
Is what soothed me to my own peace.
You became like my best friend.
I talked to you about everything.

As if God placed you into my life 
When I needed you the most.
Then you left, camouflaged with your lies.
Leaving that 4th of July.

Number Three, was poisonous.
You took me away from my God.
You took my purity.
It was passion, and it was deadly.

Treating me like I wasn't precious.
Just another pass by.
Trying to fill the void inside your heart.
You're my biggest regret.

I felt more broken than I'd ever been.
Confused. Unwanted. A mess.
I was blinded by who I thought you were.
You used me like a worn-out towel.

I'll never forgive you for what you created of me.
Taking me from my morals.
Manipulating me with your words.
I lost my God and myself because of you.

Then the fourth, my brother's best friend.
We've known each other since I can remember.
Back when I was an ugly duckling, still.
Always seeming to have this undeniable connection.

We could talk about anything.
You looked for me and I did the same.
Wondering when I was going to see you again.
Your face, your eyes, and your smile.

Then you declared I was the most beautiful.
You looked into my eyes and told me 
That you didn't want to mess up.
Making me believe we could be something.

Just like that, you left like the others.
I gave you the chance to be the man
I thought I knew, respectful and kind.
Yet, just like that you broke my heart.

Taking me down to number five.
The worst heartbreak.
Now, I was at my lowest.
Begging him to not ghost off the earth.

He was special to me.
Had everything I craved in a man.
A beard full of goodness, eyes full of beauty.
I invested in him for a long time.

Until I got my goodbye.
He stripped me bare, I couldn't breathe.

Wanting him to be mine.
Wanting to be his but I wasn't enough.
He made me feel unworthy.
And he didn't care.

He watched me cry beside him,
No emotion was written in his face.

Now, my number six.
So beautiful and wonderful.
Different from all the others.
He gave me attention and quality.

Meeting through an app,
Giving me so much life within seconds.
We weren't supposed to meet.
You just happened to be the first I swiped right.

Yet, you became so much more.
You were honest and loving.
Telling me about your dark past.
Didn't want me to run away, I didn't

Of course I wouldn't.
That isn't me.

I trusted you and wanted you to feel the same.
Thinking about you everyday.
Hoping you do the same
Because I meant something to you.

Yet, that man didn't last.
I hope that whoever he is, does.