Writing from the Heart

Vulnerable in defeat, Blinded in this cheat. My heart rumbles with fire, You were my only desire. You act so sweet, In reality you are no treat. How could I love a liar? I don't know what you inquire. To keep me begging on my knees, All you make me do is freeze. Make me lose myself within your talk, One of these days you'll lose every clock. Losing time to breathe fresh air, This is more than I could bare. The aching pain in the midst,  Remembering the time when we kissed. You no longer care.  Both of you make a lovely pair. 

The moment is here that I have come to realize that I am not in the right place. I am no longer seeking my faith when things get rough, I no longer feel the need to talk to my friends and I no longer feel the necessity to feel love. It is crazy to think that 2012 was when I was strongest in my faith. The year that I fell in love with God and the year that I fell in love with a man that was everything to me. He made me a better person although he doesn't think he did. He taught me how to love, what love feels like and I met this man when I was strongest in my faith. Although 2012, was a year with magical moments like falling in love, going to Prom, being the strongest in my faith, it also was a year that I first experienced heart ache. No matter what people told me-- that heart ache I felt was an unbearable pain. I was weak, unhappy, and slowly losing myself within all the pain. He was a man that I loved so much and he left me. I knew it was the right to let him go because he isn...

Everything I have ever dreamed of is in this moment of turmoil, he won't even see me for who I am because his mind is clouded by his wants. He won't fall for me because he knows better and yet I fall for him like a rose drizzled in a bit of water, growing until it finally flourishes. Yet, the ability to let him go is heart-wrenching. I look into his eyes and everything I love about him comes back with much force and I couldn't help myself but to gaze into his eyes long enough until I react. This love can't be and it will never be. He seems as though he loves me yet his actions speak louder than words.  He begins to place his hand to my cheek and in a circular motion, he rubs it. Making me fall to my knees, my heart melts in his hand and yes I am okay with it. I made myself believe that I was although I knew deep down nothing would change. He looks into my eyes and in his hazel eyes I can see my reflection, reminding me how much he means to me. Every...

Pain in the midst of all despair,  Accused for such faults. Being caught up in your unforgiving dare, Like a never ending assault. Never did I want this to be. Now it can't be undone. All I want to do is flee. My heart feels like it weighs a ton. And all I do is stare, In a vacant vault. And you don't seem to care. You are no longer to be exalt.  Pain in the midst of all fear, Accused for loving you. I no longer can have you near. I knew it was too good to be true.    Pain in the midst of eternity.    Always living in modernity.