Fake the Smile to Play the Part

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Everything I have ever dreamed of is in this moment of turmoil, he won't even see me for who I am because his mind is clouded by his wants. He won't fall for me because he knows better and yet I fall for him like a rose drizzled in a bit of water, growing until it finally flourishes. Yet, the ability to let him go is heart-wrenching. I look into his eyes and everything I love about him comes back with much force and I couldn't help myself but to gaze into his eyes long enough until I react. This love can't be and it will never be. He seems as though he loves me yet his actions speak louder than words. 
He begins to place his hand to my cheek and in a circular motion, he rubs it. Making me fall to my knees, my heart melts in his hand and yes I am okay with it. I made myself believe that I was although I knew deep down nothing would change. He looks into my eyes and in his hazel eyes I can see my reflection, reminding me how much he means to me. Everyday time is passing by, every breath of fresh of air I begin to get older and I try to convince myself that someone better will come along but that just seems hopeless.
"You make me so happy." He says as he continues to rub my cheek with his thumb.
"You need to stop." I say, growing weary with his words, his beautiful words.
"Why?"
"Because you cause me pain."
"I thought I made you happy. You smile every time you see me."
"Yes. I fake the part. I make you believe you have me in your hands."
"Why would you do that?"
"All this time you have been playing with the emotions I feel toward you and I am tired of it. I wish I could forget you but in order to do that. I must not see you or speak with you."
"Rose... I don't understand. You know I love you right?"
"I am not sure of anything." I say as I pull my eyes away from his so he wouldn't see my tears build up.
"You must know how I feel about you." He reaches for my hand and I swiftly move it out of his reach.
"I don't because I have come to terms with that you aren't telling me the truth. You are not fully allowing yourself to realize that you love me Derek." I hold my tears back so he wouldn't see me so vulnerable. My heart begins to burn in my chest.
"Yes I am. I love you." He says as he pulls my face to look into his teary eyes. I try to retreat but I couldn't. I love him.
"Maybe that isn't enough." I say softly, my tears began flowing down my cheek and I couldn't help myself  but to sob within his arms. I allow him to be my company because he was all I ever needed but I couldn't have him. The mind and heart feud with each other. I conform to the mind while my heart aches in pain. 

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