Writing from the Heart

I know how I am. How I say things without thinking. How I feel things without warning. How I want things without being lucky. Like I said, I know how I am. For that I'm sorry. For that I'm writing. The only way I can get over this hump. I always want the things I can't have. The things I imagine, When I'm laying on my bed. Right before I close my eyes. I know how I am. How I love without being reciprocated. How I want without getting. How I write, hoping you'd read every word. My heart desires to be loved back. My eyes desire to be gazed into. My ears desire to hear your voice. My hands desire to hold you. I've fallen short. I've hurt you. I've forgave you. I went off on you. For that I'm sorry. I understand you want nothing with me. Your wish is my command. Your silence speaks volumes. Although, the way you stared into my eyes... That can't be acted. Can it? Are you that good? That with every touch, you feel...

I can be loyal. I can be free. I can say your name. I can walk away. Dancing beneath the starlight. Nervous breaths taken by the room. Darkness enveloped around our bodies, As we cuddled beside each other.  I can be loyal. I can hold your hand. I can tell you the things you want to hear. I can play the part, just like you. Awakening to the mild sunlight, Messy hair, morning breath,  And the taste of your lips against mine. Waking me until I reacted. I can be loyal. I can be who you want me to be. I can love you. I can hate you. Pulling me tightly within your embrace. As you kiss every inch of my skin. Feeling my emotions burst, Like fireworks on 4th of July.  I can be loyal. I can take in your words. I can let the pain go. I can forget the things I don't want to remember. Breaking my heart. Sucking me dry. Feeling the numbness surround my body. As you walked, before I got to. Like I said, I can be loyal to you. Be faithful, ma...

Do you remember?  What you said on that starry night? Do you remember? My breath against your skin? I remember you, everyday. Like fresh brewed coffee on a Sunday Morning. Like freshly cut flowers on the window sill. Remembering those laced promises. They became static noise on a radio. Broken promises embedded in my fingernails. Remembering the touch of your skin. My heart beating like drummers. Do you remember? How you told me babe? Do you remember? That you weren't going to be like the others? I remember, wanting you. Feeling like time stopped because I had you. Like nothing else mattered. Remembering those webs of moments. Do you remember? My touch against your lips? Do you remember? The way I held you? I remember, loving you. Like you were my ray of sunshine. Like my way of breathing.  Remembering your person through all your mistakes. Texting me in the morning before I woke up. Always finding new ways to tell me, That I was beaut...

His green comets, Flushed with starlight. His hands intertwined  With my shaky hands. Nervousness bubbling Within my veins. He made it seem like Everything will be okay. As long as he was beside me. Just as long he wanted me to. Our voices laced with grace. As we fell asleep to each other's breaths. His green comets, Enveloped with love. His lips rested on my skin. I took a long breath.  Wanting everything to stay, To freeze time so I won't lose him. He complimented me. He gave me the attention I desired. What I always desired. Then his green comets Were no longer bright green. The star-love quality disappeared. And I was left with the brokenness of things. I was left starving to have him back. Forgotten, Lost, and Broken. I miss him, everyday. I see his eyes, everyday. I feel his touch, everyday. I hear his voice, everyday. Laced together in bittersweet memories. Memories I can no longer create. Memories I can no longer ...

I've held my breath. I've looked away. I've closed my eyes. I've said goodbye. Nothing is worse than Not knowing how you're doing. Without seeing your face, Without hearing your voice. I've tried to let go. I've tried not to think of you. I've tried to forget your touch. I've tried to hold on. Nothing is worse than Feeling you against my skin. As you caress my lips, While you felt nothing. You stared into my face, And I felt something. Something magical and right. But you, however, didn't. Nothing is worse than  Holding your hand. Knowing that any second, You're about to let go. I've hugged you tight. I've smelled your cologne Rub off onto my clothes. I've loved you. Nothing is worse than Sitting beside you. Knowing that I won't  See you again.  Do you know how I feel? Do you even care? Did you even feel anything? Did you even want me? I've held my breath, To the sound of your ...

Hold your breath, Grab my hand. Count to three, And reach for the stars. Believe you got it all. That you know it all. Right from the start, Say a prayer. Your voice calms me down. Always holding me tight. I know I'm so far  From reaching you. Hold out for another few years. I'll be ready to take the fall. Writing novels, poems, and lyrics. Will get me to you. Patience is something I can't touch. Wanting to fast forward, Five more years. To find my happiness. They make it look so simple. Finding and receiving their dreams, So easily, while I'm still stuck. Trying to hold on for a tad longer. A few years back, my dream Seemed so clear. Now, I'm here still trying But failing to keep going. My day will come, When it does I'll be happy. He won't matter to me. Because I have something to fall on. I have something I've always wanted. So, hold your breath. Count to three. And reach for the stars. Your dream will come...

Baby, you told me what I wanted to hear. You looked into my eyes,  With a sparkle of love. I believed every little thing. You held me the way I wanted. You pulled me closer, After every break of fresh air. I believed you wanted me. You took me to all these places. You laced my hand with yours, While gently rubbing my skin. I believed you loved me. Now, when I think about you. I can't help but get teary eyed. Wondering if this was a game from the start. You checked mate, me. Baby, you hugged me the way I wanted. You smelled my hair, With a peak of interest. I believed we were going to last. You kissed my lips the way I expected. You broke away from me, And looked into my face. I believed that my heart was going to be okay. You breathed me in the way I needed. You told me your past, And I accepted you with open arms. I believed you weren't going to leave. Now, when I think about you. I can't help but wonder if I meant anything. If I mean...