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Showing posts from 2019

My Brain Remembers

My brain remembers Every touch, Every moment, And every kiss. A flash of lightning, That only lasts for seconds, But lingers on for miles. The things you said. The things you promised. And the word forever stamped Onto my heart. Made only for me. My brain remembers The way the corner Of your lips cracked Into a smile. Remembering the soft Gaze as you looked  Into my eyes, never failing Yet, always wondering. If you were good enough To hold a heart like mine. And you were good enough. Because I chose you. My brain remembers The way you dug Your face into my hair.  Pulling me closer So I wouldn't fade. If only you had realized How I see you. A heart full of gold. A dream full of promise. A warmth that nestled Me into a sleep beside you. Remembering you. The way you were. So talented that  It took my breath away. Hoping I was good enough Hoping to live the rest Of my days, studying  Your every flaw, Your every strength. However, f

The Numbed Lullaby

I tried to make myself  Feel a little better. Masking my hurt  With a different touch. A touch that didn't feel The same. A touch that didn't make My heart soar. I tried to make myself  Feel a little better. Numbing the pain With a different flame. An old flame. A flame who didn't Try to make me feel better. Yet, only thinking of you. Remembering your hands Wrapped around my waist. Remembering your voice Calling out my name. Soft whispers against  The fluffy pillows. Heart racing as I stared Into your beautiful brown eyes. You had this way to make Me laugh even in the  Worst times, where I thought Of myself as pathetic. I tried to make myself Feel a little better. Masking my hurt  So I can forget. You, your face, eyes And touch.  I wish I could lie to myself To turn off every emotion. Emotions that yearn For your touch, your love. I want you to re-tell  The lie so I won't feel anymore. So I can go on, believing  That we

Embedded Music

I know I'm to blame For everything that  Went wrong, Everything  That went right. I felt your heart beat And it made my skin  Sing with ease--nervousness. Remembering your eyes. Brown marbles glistening Beneath your multi-colored Lights, beaming off the ceiling. Your messy hair static to the pillow. Your little black mole Beneath your right eye. Your smile so genuine That dropped me to my knees. Your laugh making me  Giggle with happiness. That's what I remember. The black and white piano Singing off your fingers As I sat behind you, Memorizing the muscles of  Your back. The way you straighten  Your posture as your body Moved along with The beat of the music. The music embedded into Your soul and into your heart. I admired you by the way You played the piano. Memorizing the music As if it were your own. And I sat behind you Loving you with my eyes. An unconditional love  That teared me up  With Joy. Your voice sometimes Sang alo

Broken Souls

My heart is uneasy. Feeling as though My chest has been scraped hollow. Holding my breath To the endless silence. My voice has lost its Rhythm, feeling as though It disappeared in the  Minutes of your departure.  I shouldn't have held you tight. I shouldn't have said "I love you." I shouldn't have trusted you. My hands are numb To the poison running through My veins, wanting you  But not able to manifest your return. I know you're no longer mine to hold. I know you have someone Holding you close, being with you Every minute of everyday. I know I lost you. Not in the best way. I thought I had forever with you. Then I realized that you're not here. That you're not here in my suffering. Reminding me that you love me. I know that I made mistakes. Many of the arguments  Were out of worry and care for you. I told you I was sorry But I shouldn't have said it. You hurt me. You broke my heart again. I'm being for

Bella

Baby girl, I'm sorry For making a decision I never thought I had  To make and so soon. My heart is broken. My heart misses you. My heart wants you back. My heart doesn't understand. Baby girl, I'm sorry. The more I think about it. The more I grow sad Because I don't have you anymore. My furry best friend Who knew me better than I knew myself. Who understood me. This loss makes me feel empty. More empty than on that  Fateful 3rd day of April. Losing you tipped me over. I don't see the light. I don't see how this teaches Me a lesson, a lesson on not  Loving something so much Because at any moment It would be taken from me. Like you were stolen from me Without any warning. We had a beautiful day Full of light and happiness. Then it turned dark At the twilight of six-thirty. I thought I had lost enough. I guess that loss back in April  Didn't count... it wasn't enough. I had to be given one more loss. If this was

My Love, My Sweetheart

My love, my sweetheart You are the best thing  In my life, my thoughts Of security are within your embrace. Full of joy and beauty. You are on your way back to me I feel it vibrating through My fingertips. I feel your love radiating So much light. I feel your eyes taking Notice and openness. My love, my sweetheart You are my best friend. I miss your teases. I miss your touch. I know you'll come home. I can feel it in my heart. I know you love me. I know you want to come back. I feel your heart beating In this very moment. Loving me and thinking of  Only me. Your soulmate, your love, Your quest, your Lois Lane And your Forever. It's written in the stars. You are meant for me. The love we have will  Carry the weight of the world. It will succeed and prosper. My love, my sweetheart You are the most talented  Man I've ever met. I've always known  Since we were six  That we are destined For one another. You will come home. My

Wall of Pride

I am rattled by your decision. Not understanding why I wasn't enough for you. Harping on myself seeing  You move on...and without me. Choosing someone else over me. Can I ask you one thing before you go? Before you forget me. Before you fill my head  With negative thoughts On how I was a bad person. Before you break me once again. When did you fall out of love? I thought we were good. I thought we found balance. I thought we were on the same page. Then you did a 180 on me. Nearly blind sided me. I didn't understand your reaction. Still don't. My heart ached to small pieces Of dust, vanishing through your Insensitivity.  Not knowing the real reasons. Was I that horrible to you? Why wasn't I enough? When the day before you said You'd give me the whole world. Now, you're buried in your thoughts. Masking your feelings with Another girl. I didn't think I'd be so disappointed In you. Although, my heart still aches For

Always Something

There was always something Inside of you  That told you to stay with me.  So you won't regret it. Ever since we were  Young and naive. We were at each other's  Throat and knees. My heart fluttered Every single time Your fingers touched my skin. When you looked into my eyes. There was always something Inside of you That told you to not leave. Then you'd regret it. Ever since we were  Young and afraid. We always annoyed Each other, out of love. My skin popcorn with nervousness Every single time You tickled my sides. With the slightest touch of yours. There was always something  Inside of us That told us that this was  Our shot, to make this right. Ever since we were  Young and doubtful. We always got back to each other. As if we were magnets. My lips tingled  Every single time You kissed my lips. Fitting perfectly in my embrace. Now, it's been cold. Feeling the bottom of  My stomach turn with anguish. Feeling you kill the ma