Doubtful Love

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Nothing make sense, you don't make sense, you come and go as you please. I have to conform to this life I was given. Watching you watch her as I pretend to stare at my phone. Hearing you talk to her as I tried to cover my ears. Seeing you touch her as I look to the floor, feeling my heart anchor to the bottom of the ocean. After a few moments, you look into my eyes, and I linger into you. I hold onto you for a second longer so I won't forget what this feels like. To see you, to feel you, and to hear your voice one last time. 

 She comes up to me and smiles to my face. I must stand there as you take her away and my heart clenches together. It begins to suffocate and I have no control of what I feel or what I want to feel. How can you tell someone to be with you when they love another? I can't. I just can't. I hate that I love you more than the earth needs rain. I hate that I need you more than I need air. I hate that I want you more than I the will to fight for you. I'm weary of competing and worrying about everything that comes my way. What do you feel when you look into my eyes? Do you feel that same connection? Or do you fake it? Do you find ways to push me away? 

 Look into my eyes. Tell me to let you go. Every thoughtful doubt burns with the rage I feel when I stare into your brown eyes. Every thought rushes through my brain and poisons my blood flow. I don't wonder about us making it through. I wonder about the possibilities we didn't take because you left so quickly...before it even began. 

 Hear my voice, listen to my voice one last time because that will be the last. 

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