Sunlight Kisses

I open my eyes,
To catch my breath.
Feeling your love
Drift away.

The sting in my heart
Present, even after
Long 9 months 
Since you left.

I open my mouth,
To say the words
That have been clawing
At my insides.

But nothing comes out.
Feeling cold air
Invade my lungs.
Wanting you back.

I open my arms,
To bring you in.
Then quickly close them,
Because you aren't mine.

The sting in my chest,
Poisons the blood in
My veins, pumping
My chambers, out of synch.

I open my mind,
To find love again.
Then shut the thought away...
Again, waiting for you.

Wanting to forget your 
Touch, the way your
Skin heated off my body as
You nestled your face into my neck.

I open my heart,
So I can forget the memories.
The memories of us.
The laughs, the kisses, the touch.

I remember that moment
In the park, where you
Clinged to my body
Like you wanted me forever.

But, forever ended so quickly.
I didn't have the chance
To process.
Still, yearning for you in silence.

A silence that is eating me alive.
Slowly then all at once.
Praying for you to come home.
Knowing I'm falling short.

How could I have let you in?
When did this all end?
When did I let my guard down?
How could you break my heart?

When you promised you 
Were going to protect it.
Was everything a lie?
When can I wake up?

When will you come back?
All I hear is your voice
In the blackness of the room.
All I want is you.

How can I get that feeling back?
All I feel is your touch
Embracing me as I lay in bed.
Remembering...

I open my eyes,
To catch my breath.
So I can have a moment
To breathe without you.

All I have left
Are the memories
I wish to forget.
Waiting for you to open your eyes.

To see that what I felt 
For you was true.
That every touch,
Radiated with beauty.

Like sunlight kissing
Every inch of your body.
Warming you up with
Safety, falling all in you.

With my eyes closed.
Not knowing your truth.