Value

My heart feels hollow.
Since the day you said,
"I'm done".
Believing I wasn't enough.

You left me because it
Was easier than staying.
You didn't want to fight
For our love 

Because I was never enough.
I'm praying for you.
So you can heal,
So you can learn to love again.

My heart feels deceased.
Since the day you said,
"I need to be by myself."
Believing in your word.

However, getting sad.
When you chose to live
Without me, someone 
Who loved you.

Someone who wanted
The best for you.
I'm weary of feeling
Like I was nobody.

As if the time together
Meant nothing to you.

My heart is disappointed.
Being trapped behind
A prison you placed me in.
Without any warning.

You didn't give me time to process
The loss, you disappeared.
And you selfishly gave me up.
You didn't think of me.

But every night I've been praying
Not so you return, 
Yet wanting you to be healthy.
To be okay, to be loved.

It's been one-hundred and ten 
Days since you left.
Saying goodbye beneath the
Moonlight, kissing me for the last time.

Feeling your breath touch my skin.
Feeling you tighten your embrace.
Feeling you whisper in my ear.
And hearing you play the piano.

I have given you up to God.
So, he can work his magic 
And bring you back to him.
To help me move on.

Something you didn't hesitate to do.
What you're doing is wrong.
You know it, that's why you hid.
Do you think she's going to love you like I did?

Do you think she's going to care?
Do you think her naive heart will be enough?
When even my heart wasn't enough
To fill the void inside you chest.

You've always chosen someone
Over the love I have for you.
You've always chosen to break 
My heart to make you feel stronger.

Are you stronger?
Are you happier?
Are you fulfilled?
Are you even aware?

I gave you every piece of my heart.
Loving you, unconditionally. 
Even when you didn't deserve it
In the end. In your decision.

I forgive you for not choosing
God and I. 
Know that I don't wish you harm
However, the opposite.

I want you to find love.
I want you to be reunited with God.
I want you to be happy.
Even if that isn't with me.

Know that your attitude 
Right now, doesn't make you 
Any less valuable or undeserving.
You are lost and afraid.

You were afraid to love me.
You weren't ready to be loved by me.
Maybe you'll never be ready.
Those people don't care for you.

Yet, I do and I'll have my heart 
Open for you to make things right.
In this moment, I'll be working on myself.
Something you failed to do.

You don't love yourself.
You never will.
Just as long as you keep jumping
Without thinking.

I am worthy to be earned.
And so you have no value to me. 

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