Writing from the Heart

It's very hard not to miss you.  Every breath I take gets harder. Your eyes were my cherished view. You were my suit of armor. Every vein in my body boiled with your love. Now it just sizzles with pain. Lost like an unforeseen glove. Battered like an unwired brain. It's very hard not to love you. I think about you all the time. Remembering you in a moment of hue. As we took that high climb.  You shine brighter than the sun. Blinding me with your smile. I'd give anything for you to be the one. While you watch me walk down the aisle. But it's very hard not to hear your voice. I remember your tone. You've given me no choice, But to throw away the stone. Just know, you were all I ever needed. To fill this void inside my heart.

To Him,  I held onto those moments where you held me tight in your arms, memorizing the details of your face, and how your smile glistened underneath the incoming sunlight through your bedroom window. I would give anything to not forget it but as time goes on, those details are slowly disappearing, and I don't know how to hold on if you've already let me go. My heart trembles with your abandonment, it's melting in the warmth of your hands, and you'll never understand how much you mean to me. How much I wanted, us, to be different. But you'll never be ready and I'm slowly realizing that all this... is nothing but my fault. I fell to quickly. I let you touch me and tell me that I mattered to you. When all you did was break every inch of my body, shattering every ounce of love that overfilled my heart, and you didn't mind. You thought everything was okay but don't you see that I'm hurting? That I can't take none of this anymore? That I must let yo...

My voice captured by your silence. Your voice trapped by your cold feet. I had no choice but to let you go. Even though I didn't want to. I wanted every bone in body to keep you. To hold you, to love you. But I knew if I did... Then you wouldn't want me. Yet, I held onto you for a long time. I waited for you for a long time. And I moved on. It was the hardest decision I had to make. Just like every other man, You stopped approaching me, Stopped talking to me, And stopped holding me. Just like every one else. You walked away, And I had to sacrifice Just like everything else. I had to let you go. Even though I never wanted to.

      When I'm with you. I forget all that surrounds me. I just listen to the sound of your breathing as you lay your face upon my lips. I listen to the sound of your heartbeat thump beneath my fingers as you begin to close your eyes to rest. You hold me tight when I feel cold, you warm every inch inside my body, stroking my skin upon my hand to let me know that you're not going anywhere. You lightly kiss my lips over and over, generating so much happiness in the depth of my core.         When I'm with you. I allow myself to let go of the past because all that really matters in this moment. The moment where you take me into your arms and soothe me to sleep. Every time I move, you pull me in tighter and I've never felt so safe. You make me feel comfortable and it scares me every time. It scares me that I could fall for you and you not with me. That terrifies me. Yet, right now I'm content. I don't need more than what you give me. You...