A Drained Heart
To Him,
I held onto those moments where you held me tight in your arms, memorizing the details of your face, and how your smile glistened underneath the incoming sunlight through your bedroom window. I would give anything to not forget it but as time goes on, those details are slowly disappearing, and I don't know how to hold on if you've already let me go. My heart trembles with your abandonment, it's melting in the warmth of your hands, and you'll never understand how much you mean to me. How much I wanted, us, to be different. But you'll never be ready and I'm slowly realizing that all this... is nothing but my fault. I fell to quickly. I let you touch me and tell me that I mattered to you. When all you did was break every inch of my body, shattering every ounce of love that overfilled my heart, and you didn't mind. You thought everything was okay but don't you see that I'm hurting? That I can't take none of this anymore? That I must let you go even though it's so damn hard.
That's the thing. You don't see anything. You only see what you want to see and you don't see me. You don't see my pain, you don't understand it, and I'm the only one who suffers... The only one that is broken. So go ahead and tell me that I don't matter because at the end of the day-- it will only make me stronger. Every vein in my body will be drained of the love and care I once felt for you because you no longer matter. You don't matter anymore. I'll be the one to say that you're no longer enough for me. You don't get to say it. You don't get to let it drip from the tip of your tongue. Not anymore. I felt so comfortable being with you, in the warmth of your arms but you don't feel the same for me. You never did and I got held up in the idea that for once I'd get to be the protagonist of this story instead of being the supporting character. But you know what? It doesn't work that way... I'm not worthy of happiness because you took it all. No matter how much I tried. I couldn't hold onto you. And why would I want to hold onto someone that doesn't want to be held? Maybe to fill in the void I've had in the last 5 years.
You all, are the same and I'm sick of it. I don't want it anymore. I don't want you anymore. I don't want to feel like this... Always thinking about you when you don't do the same. I remember your beautiful face and how peaceful you looked when I held you in my arms. I thought you felt the same thing as I did but you didn't. AND I HATE YOU FOR IT. I hate you for making believe that this will be different, that destiny wouldn't wrong me this time but I was wrong. It's all my fault. I don't blame you because I truly care for you but I'm not going to try anymore. What's the point? It doesn't get me anywhere. It just makes me sink further and further. Yet, you can have my heart in your possession because you've already anchored it to the bottom of the ocean. And I don't want it. It's damaged, hopeless, and covered with all the disappointment. I have no will to fight for someone who doesn't want me.
I hope you find that special someone that makes your heart complete because it wasn't me. It will NEVER be ME.
From Her.
I held onto those moments where you held me tight in your arms, memorizing the details of your face, and how your smile glistened underneath the incoming sunlight through your bedroom window. I would give anything to not forget it but as time goes on, those details are slowly disappearing, and I don't know how to hold on if you've already let me go. My heart trembles with your abandonment, it's melting in the warmth of your hands, and you'll never understand how much you mean to me. How much I wanted, us, to be different. But you'll never be ready and I'm slowly realizing that all this... is nothing but my fault. I fell to quickly. I let you touch me and tell me that I mattered to you. When all you did was break every inch of my body, shattering every ounce of love that overfilled my heart, and you didn't mind. You thought everything was okay but don't you see that I'm hurting? That I can't take none of this anymore? That I must let you go even though it's so damn hard.
That's the thing. You don't see anything. You only see what you want to see and you don't see me. You don't see my pain, you don't understand it, and I'm the only one who suffers... The only one that is broken. So go ahead and tell me that I don't matter because at the end of the day-- it will only make me stronger. Every vein in my body will be drained of the love and care I once felt for you because you no longer matter. You don't matter anymore. I'll be the one to say that you're no longer enough for me. You don't get to say it. You don't get to let it drip from the tip of your tongue. Not anymore. I felt so comfortable being with you, in the warmth of your arms but you don't feel the same for me. You never did and I got held up in the idea that for once I'd get to be the protagonist of this story instead of being the supporting character. But you know what? It doesn't work that way... I'm not worthy of happiness because you took it all. No matter how much I tried. I couldn't hold onto you. And why would I want to hold onto someone that doesn't want to be held? Maybe to fill in the void I've had in the last 5 years.
You all, are the same and I'm sick of it. I don't want it anymore. I don't want you anymore. I don't want to feel like this... Always thinking about you when you don't do the same. I remember your beautiful face and how peaceful you looked when I held you in my arms. I thought you felt the same thing as I did but you didn't. AND I HATE YOU FOR IT. I hate you for making believe that this will be different, that destiny wouldn't wrong me this time but I was wrong. It's all my fault. I don't blame you because I truly care for you but I'm not going to try anymore. What's the point? It doesn't get me anywhere. It just makes me sink further and further. Yet, you can have my heart in your possession because you've already anchored it to the bottom of the ocean. And I don't want it. It's damaged, hopeless, and covered with all the disappointment. I have no will to fight for someone who doesn't want me.
I hope you find that special someone that makes your heart complete because it wasn't me. It will NEVER be ME.
From Her.
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