Awakened

The first week was amazing.
Secret meetings at the park.
Swinging on the swings.
Catching up on our time apart.

Some will say it was magical.
Magical in so many ways.
To me is was unbelievable.
It felt like I was asleep.

Waiting to awake from the dream.
To know that it was never real.
And it was real for seven months.
A wonderful dream I didn't think would end.

But it did.
You were only a dream.
A dream I've always wanted
Ever since I was a little girl.

Hoping that the feelings 
I had were real.
They were real.
You awakened my hidden feelings.

Very quickly. Again hoping
That you felt the same way.
You did for a while.
Then those feelings disappeared.

I didn't think I'd be awaken
From a nightmare.
That this longing you felt 
Was real.

That the moments of kissing 
In the rain, holding hands while
Walking down the neighborhood,
Going ice skating and taking care of me.

That those moments were a lie.
That you were never mine.
That's what hurts.
You leaving me for those who don't care.

Even with the time apart,
I still care for you.
I still love you.
Even though I shouldn't.

Do you remember those 
Moments where all you wanted
To do was hold me, to feel me?
That I said, "I love you so much."

You always said, "Not as much as me."
I believed it.
I said, "I don't think so." The words,
"I love you, infinity times whatever you say."

Rolled off your tongue naturally.
I began to feel it come off your body.
The love you claimed to say.
With a snap of a finger, that love vanished.

The moment when you raised your voice.
The moment when you didn't want to touch me.
The moment when you didn't say, "I love you."
The moment when you decided to leave.

Even with the bad moments.
I wanted you anyways.
I needed you anyways.
Yet, you didn't need me.

Your need for isolation was bigger
Than the "love" you had for me.
Now, that you're gone.
I know that I miss you.

But as time passes, it gets better.
Although I want you to be happy.
Be the happiest you've ever been.
I feel like your family is losing you.

I feel like you're losing yourself.
I never wanted that for you.
I needed you to want to be with me.
And you did for a while.

I'll hold onto those memories, forever.
I'll keep you in my heart.
I'll hold you tight.
I'll always be here for you.

Know that I'll be fine without you.
That I'm taking this time for myself.