Love War

Everyday I hope for it to get better.

Where the sun always shined.

And my smile never faded.

Where my heart nervously waited.

I sit here, nothing to make me better.

You sit there, not even trying.

My heart is the victim.

My non-existent smile is the cause.

My eyes only glisten for you.

Even then, it's never enough.

You listen to my words,

As if they were shot guns going off.

Not understanding my actions,

My plead for you to see my side.

My worry that you're going to leave.

I didn't mean for this chaos to happen.

I didn't mean to fall for you.

I didn't mean to try and fix you.

I have broken parts of me.

That you can't fix.

You have broken parts of you.

That I can't fix.

Never did I think this,

Was going to be easy.

I ask for you to try.

But you keep aiming at me,

With a pistol in your hand.

Waiting for me to break.

I don't understand your,

Five year commitment.

But I'm trying to help.

Yet, you see me as someone who can't.

You're right, I don't have to fix anything.

Just like you don't have to try,

And be happy for the sake of 

Our relationship.

I'll stand by you, until it becomes

Enough, until I'm no longer worthy.

Until I'm no longer your bright light.

Until your apologies become forgotten words.

My heart is on the other side 

Of the battlefield.

Waiting for you to put the gun down.

Hoping that you won't see me as HER.

But as ME, who loves you.

Who cares for you.

Who wants the best for you.

Who believes in you.

Like I said, I can't fix what's broken.

Just like you can't fix what's 

Clawing at my insides.

Because you won't talk to me.

Yet, writing is the only way,

I can get all the demons

From stripping me from the inside.

So I'm sorry for the bullets I shot.

It was never my intention.

I love you, despite your defects.

I love you, despite your hurtful actions.

I love you, despite your lack of understanding.

Baby, put the gun down.

This isn't a war, you need to win.