Writing from the Heart

I hear it all in my head. Every sound, speech, and silhouette.  Some are clouded than others. Some are hyphened than most. I hear it all in my head. Every misused word. Every sentence ending in, "Not enough", "Really? Her?" I hear it all in my head. The beating heart. The vibrating blood cells.  Every single gasp of trapped air. Like I said, I hear it all. The tightening muscles. The aching pain in my joints. Every cry for help. It's when I'm alone, When I lay my head to sleep. I think about those  I've wronged, The ones I've lost. Due to my list of failures. It's me, I know it's me. I'm not their type. I'm too much of a rusher. I hear it all in my head. The burning tears by every droplet. The numbed feeling inside my heart. I feel it all, only reciprocated one sided. I hear it all in my head. The sound of your voice. The sound of your movement. As I lay myself to bed. Wanting to feel you crawl ...

I know it's nothing. But it is something. My heart tells me it's nothing good. Nothing I can control. I feel more broken  Than the year before. More weary and scared. I don't know how to handle. The thoughts inside my head. I know it's nothing.  But it is something. I can feel it in my bones. I feel more alone Knowing that you won't  Be there to guide me. You disappeared. I know it's nothing. But it is something. I can't share the things  I want to say to you. I feel more lost  Knowing that I can't pick  Up the phone to call you, To hear your voice. So you can tell me it's okay. I know it's nothing. But it is something. I'm terrified for the time to come. I feel like I lost you forever. Knowing that you won't be there For me, is terrifying. I wish I can tell you what I'm feeling. I know it's nothing.  But it is something. My family is hurting. I can see it in their eyes. I feel their pa...

Don't you know? The things you hide from, Will only leave you lonely. Takes your seconds away.  You have this idea of The perfect girl. So you deny those who Could love you. Don't you know? That you can't decide  Who you're meant for. Take your armor away. You believe you aren't worthy Of love, but you are more worthy, Now. Than ever before. You've learned, you've prospered. Don't you know? That you'd only regret, The chances you didn't make. Take your pride away. I can tell you all the reasons, To love you, to want you, to trust you. But, you won't break down your fear. No matter how much I try to convince you.  Don't you know? That your act isn't attractive. Playing me, convincing me of something more. Take your smirk away. I know I won't ever be more to you. Just a friend who isn't enough To your ideal girl. This idea inside your mind. You can tell me the things I want to hear. Then ...