Dedication

The sun beams onto my face,
Feeling the heat radiate off my skin.
Hoping that someday
I'd be fortunate to live my dream.

It's been hard, closing my eyes
To the image my mind plays 
Over and over again.
Wanting it to be reality.

Then I open my eyes 
And I'm saddened that I'm
Still the helicopter
Stuck in the air, nowhere to go.

At times, I want to crawl 
Beneath my sheets 
And never wake up.
For the reason of rejections.

Application after application.
Job after job.
Still trying to find someone
Who's willing to give me a chance.

I'll take anything at this point.
I'll fetch you coffee,
Finish editing your manuscript,
Do your errands.

Just to be given the okay.
To gain the experience.
To make my heart fulfilled.
To show my eyes, that it's possible.

Post Disney and I feel even 
More lost, feeling like I'm working
Jobs that have no meaning.
That doesn't make me happy.

I'm having trouble understanding
Why my turn hasn't come.
Making it hard to grasp 
That someone is better than me.

You got your turn 
To have your name on your desk.
With the title of, "Editor in Chief".
You were given the chance.

Why haven't you given me one?
I work hard, I'm dedicated.
I have this passion for reading
And writing books.

But, you've silenced my voice.
No one dares to take on someone
With no experience.
Although my dedication speaks for itself.

Working at Disney for four years
Is called commitment.
Leaving early just to make it to 
My shift, sitting in traffic on my way home.

I was dedicated in that one hour commute.
I'd be dedicated to stay up
And finish editing what I need to get done.
To meet your deadline.

That's how important you are to me.
But the more no's I receive
Breaks me even further.
Trying to keep my head held high.

To not let it get to me.
Just like my past almost relationships.
You are pushing me aside 
Like I'm nothing just as they did.

The moonlight shines onto my face.
As I close my eyes to hope 
That someday I'll get my yes.
Whether for Editorial or Writing.

I hope to be sitting at a desk
With stacks of manuscripts
Just like you... But unlike you.
I'd grant opportunities.

I'll answer emails and send them 
In the right direction.
I'll give them every ounce of my knowledge.
So they can follow their dreams, too.

I won't let rejection silence me.
I'll speak up for my dream.
Hope that I'd be good as you
Or even better.

I want to make my family proud.
Most importantly, to make you proud too.