Something

I know it's nothing.
But it is something.
My heart tells me it's nothing good.
Nothing I can control.

I feel more broken 
Than the year before.
More weary and scared.
I don't know how to handle.

The thoughts inside my head.
I know it's nothing. 
But it is something.
I can feel it in my bones.

I feel more alone
Knowing that you won't 
Be there to guide me.
You disappeared.

I know it's nothing.
But it is something.
I can't share the things 
I want to say to you.

I feel more lost 
Knowing that I can't pick 
Up the phone to call you,
To hear your voice.

So you can tell me it's okay.
I know it's nothing.
But it is something.
I'm terrified for the time to come.

I feel like I lost you forever.
Knowing that you won't be there
For me, is terrifying.
I wish I can tell you what I'm feeling.

I know it's nothing. 
But it is something.
My family is hurting.
I can see it in their eyes.

I feel their pain,
I feel their worry,
I feel their slight hope,
I feel their unfathomable love. 

I didn't have to hesitate 
To talk to you.
Now I have to because I know
You won't be there to catch me.

You left because it's easier.
You left just like the first time.
I'm the one who's left broken.
I'm the one that cares for you.

I know it's nothing.
But it is something.
I have faith in God,
He'll be okay.

But you? I know nothing.
My eyes are weary of pain.
Weary of tears.
I hope my mind calms to a halt.

Just so I can clear my mind.
Cope with what's to come.
Hoping that I won't lose,
The creativity at my fingertips.

I know it's nothing.
But I can't help that it's everything.
The battles we'll face.
The hope we'll rise again.

Knowing that you're gone.
Well, that's the worst of all.