Riddled Emotions

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I thought about my days before this. 
Hackled with happiness between my fingertips.
The moments right after became a blur.
Yet, I held onto you as long as I could.

 Your voice, your mind, your lips...
Riddled with picture perfect qualities.
I remember the way you smiled into my eyes.
Beautifully entwined with laughter.

 Then I became a mess.
As you took every inch of me and tore me apart.
Your promises became stained lies from your mouth.
Every word meant nothing as your actions spoke
               LOUDER.
                     HARDER.
                            LONGER.

 Every artery in my vein
Consumed your venom and I didn't mind
The pain that numbed my bones.
Breaking me to tiny pieces of fragile glass.

 And I streamed puddles from
My bloodshot eyes.
You saw my heart tumble right 
In front of you.
            Yet, you did nothing.
                  No emotion filled your brown eyes.
                        You were a statue in the midst of my pain.

 Even after so many years,
You still don't have the
Decency to apologize.
And I don't mind your abandonment.

 As my friend, and as my lover.
You made a decision
And I earned that suffering.
I'll never forget the moment
             Right before I said, "Goodbye."
                    Didn't even cross my mind, that it would be the last.

 After a while of fooled emotions.
I'm finally beginning to live again.
Slowly building myself up, 
Fixing what you knocked down.

 And I wish for your happiness,
That has always been what I wanted.

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