Writing from the Heart

Is it weird that I still remember The last movie we saw together, The last meal we ate together, The last time you said, 'I love you?' My mind still remembers The pitch of your voice. It's more distant now, but it's there. Your giggle tickling my neck. My heart still remembers The touch of your skin. It's subtle, but it's there. Your lips kissing my cheeks. Is it weird that I still remember The last time we went out on a real date, The last time you came over, The last time we argued? My mind still remembers The curve of your smile. It's non-existent now, but it's there. Your legs wrapping around my waist. My heart still remembers The window kisses. It's something I wish I can get back. Your nose dancing alongside mine. Is it weird that I still remember The last time I heard you play the piano, The last time you played the guitar, The last time you believed in us? It's like my heart doesn't  Want my mind to forget The one person, I've lov...

Your eyes were my favorite The chocolaty surface That gazed into my face With simplicity and truth. My heart fluttering by Your touch that Friday Evening beneath the stars. Your touch felt like a piece Of Heaven, so beautiful. I felt like I had the world Because I had you. My childhood love Igniting that ember  Inside my heart. Revived, New, Transformed. The touch of your skin Electrified all my senses As I pulled you close on That one humid night. The promise of Forever Stained your lips with A brokenness I didn't  Think was possible Until seven months later. When you played the piano I felt my heart drum To the rhythm of your tune. The softness of your hair Was also one of my favorites. Raking my fingertips  Through your hair  Gave me an ease I didn't know existed. The beat of your heart Synched with mine Like two bodies  But one soul. Most of all, my best  Favorite thing Was you loving me The way I loved you. Sitting beside me  As I dug my...

It's weird I woke up One morning with  A heavy chest, And soaked pillows. Wrapped up in your Green jacket, the one You gave me when We went ice skating. Knowing that the sun Shined brightly through The windows but that my Eyes were stained with sadness. Waking up to a morning With the lack of good Morning texts that said,  "Good morning Darling" A phrase that always lit Up my face brighter than The sun itself. But my  heavy heart Fell into the acid of my stomach. I woke up one morning Knowing that you weren't Mine to hold, to love, and To keep safe. My arms were empty And the memories leaked Out only the bad ones. I willed for the good ones To flood my mind. To make me forget. To understand what happened. Begging to hear those three words again. They were silent. You fell silent  And I blamed myself for it. Blamed myself for the tears In your eyes, the Poison spilling from your tongue, The storm inside your mind, And th...

I'm scared that I won't Feel the same way again With a different love. A different set of eyes. The way you made me feel Was unexplainable, But very much real. I can imagine you right now. In this moment, Writing this and Praying that you'd  See me this time. I'm scared that I won't  Feel fireworks the same way. Skyrocketing to the sky By your very kiss. The way you made me feel Was unconditional, And authentic. I can  Feel your hands touch my thigh. In this moment, Staring into your brown eyes. As I lay beside you on  Your worn out couch. Remembering the feeling I had when you nestled your Face in the crook of my neck. Laying behind me tightening your grasp. I'm scared that I won't  Feel the goosebumps stencil Onto my skin every time you Lightly grazed it with your fingertips. The way you made me feel Was easy and fast. I can hear your voice in my  Ears and the piano playing a similar tune. Like it was yesterday...

Explaining you To my friends, My Family, Is very hard to do. I try to shine light  On the person you are. But, the darkness clouds Over you. Your actions buried you. Explaining you t o myself  Is devastating and  Unreal. Wanting to fix it. Yet knowing I can't. To fix the things  That happened. Trying to understand Your reasons, but I couldn't. I watched you disappear. Explaining you Is overwhelming. Knowing that I want you, Knowing that I care for you. I can't show it, Because you'd walk away Again...like you always do. Failing me...like you always do. Your eyes weren't the same eyes. Explaining you To strangers  Is hard because I try  To give you the benefit of the doubt. Knowing that my eyes Show the hurt that hasn't Disappeared, that hasn't Wavered. Just broken. Then you silenced your voice. Explaining you Came in waves. Wrapping my head Around the things I didn't do. If I had just done things Di...

The thoughts inside my head Cloud my judgment, Overrules my heart, And drowns me with memories. I didn't realize that I got used to love That put me second. Instead of being first. That the look in your  Eyes were fake. That the touch you Stenciled on my skin wasn't true. I think about it. And I feel my heart Get swallowed up whole. Wondering how I didn't see it. That your heart was  Never mine to begin with. That your thoughts were Consumed by her name, Her face, her touch, And her inability To put you first. When that's all I did. It's been 10 months And for some reason My heart doesn't fail to Remind me how special you are. Painting our future inside my head. Serenading your promise To love me forever. Holding me tight in your arms of safety. I think about you. Then My heart craves for the same love. The same genuine love I gave you. You're self-sabotaging yourself Because you think you don't Deserve any ...

I think about those days. Full of bliss and wonder. Where the sun never  Failed to shine. Where my sleep was Awakened by your sweet words. Where my heart was  Glowing with happiness. I think about those days. Full of love and beauty. Where my skin never  Failed to show you my love. Goosebumps stenciled onto  My warm skin as you grazed Your fingertips across my back. Skyrocketing my heart to the sky. I think about those days. Before it all happened. Before your touch turned cold. Before you silenced your I love you's. I think about those days  Where every moment  With you froze. Where we laughed close together. I think about you. What we could've been. What we could've lived. What we could've shared. If you hadn't broken my heart. If you hadn't left me. If you hadn't given up. If you hadn't treated me like you did. I think about you. Searching for answers As the time ticks away And you still haven't return...